The Bully Back Series
The Helping hand rescue mission team has written and published a series of educational books on bullying. The series has become a way to discuss politics, REcycling, and broken arm pits with children.
Proceeds from the book sales support the youth program.
I’m a bully. That’s what Mr. Blade said. And I might get expelled. I’m as mad as a bee on a Barbie about it. But it’s not my fault, it’s my brother.
Truth is, Union Elementary has a bullying problem. I am not upset that my brother Timmy’s head is getting flushed in the toilet. I am upset that the flusher might get kicked out of school. That’s me. I’m just trying to fix him. And I am in big big trouble for it.
Now I have to prove to the school that what I am doing is for his own good. I have to show them that I am just helping to toughen twerps up. They say it’s bullying. I call it Better Bullying, and I want to use it to save the school.
Ronald Triumph won. He won. He said he wanted to make this school great again. He made more promises than a pinky finger, put on a hat, and he won. He won big league.
Most of us thought Beverly Linton was going to win. We thought she was going to be the first girl President of the Union School. POTUS. We thought wrong.
Beverly Linton wanted to win. A lot of kids voted for her and a lot of kids didn’t. She took 2nd place. Ronald Triumph said she won first place loser. She beat Ernie and the boys.
Beverly says that Ronald Triumph is a bully. She called him, “Bully of the Union School.” BOTUS.
Ronald Triumph says he isn’t a bully. He says he is only bullying back. To understand how we got here, I’ve got to tell you our story.
Ali Ocasio-Cortez is a bully. Ronald Triumph said she is a huge bully, but he has a bone spur on his tooth so it sounded like ‘yuge’ bully. AOC is a bully and she isn’t alone. Ali and her 5th grade girlfriends are pinching, plucking, and popping boys who don’t believe in global warming. Those Green Girls are breaking ears, smashing nipples, and squeezing kids so hard their innies turn to outies. The Green Girls are trying to save Union School from superduper floods and forest fires. They have declared a global warning about global warming.
Ali said that if we don’t start recycling and taking better care of the planet, we are all going to melt or fall into an earthquake crack or get seasick inside of a tornado. I don’t want to get seasick inside of a tornado.
Ali says that the good news is that we don’t have to die young. And we don’t have to end up in an ear cast. If we join her team and pledge allegiance to the Green Girls, we still have 11.93 years to save the planet.
Authors and Editors:
Adam Bruckner is the Director of the Helping Hand Rescue Mission in Philadelphia.
In 1983, as a 3rd grader in Mequon, Wisconsin, Bruckner sat in the last row of the 72 passenger big bird yellow school bus on the way home from school. A 5th grader named James Dobbins teased and harassed Bruckner before stealing his yellow Nerf soccer ball from the row in front of him. With Dobbins facing forward, Bruckner grabbed Dobbins and banged his head into the side window. Dobbins cried and Bruckner grabbed his ball and ran off the bus. Three weeks later, Dobbins had his friend hold Bruckner's hands behind his back, and Dobbins threw the punch of a 1,000 cowards to the belly of defenseless. That time Dobbins ran, and Bruckner cried. Dobbins moved out of town the next day. Bruckner hopes that 'Better Bullying' will reach an audience large enough to grant him the recognition that he needs to track down Dobbins and teach him the virtues of Better Bullying.
Angel Williams is a wonderful Senior at Bodine High School in Philadelphia. He wears a size 13 shoe, has a little brother named Savion, and lost his front teeth in a frisbee melee.
HIs hobbies include writing, telling jokes, and getting Savion in trouble. His goals in life are to graduate from college and to one day be taller than Mr. Adam. He is the creator of the SuperGuy comic series.
Savion Williams is an 8th grader at Kearny Elementary School. He was the inspiration for Timmy, the wimpy little brother in "Better Bullying." He is an avid reader and currently does not "like like" any girls in his class.